ahem...

What's Really Old?

Aftermath 47, 3163

• Last week, I was contacted by Drew Mendelson, the Senior Communictions Specialist of the California State Employees Association, which a few of you might immediately associate with the sordid CSEA Affair. As it turns out, I had indicted the wrong CSEA -- the Goode Chaplin IM False was actually receiving religious persecution from the California School Employees Association. Someone brought this to Mr. Mendelson's attention, and rather than threatening me with all manner and variety of slander lawsuits, he politely informed me that I had the wrong Fenderson. The two organizations, he assured me, are unconnected except by their initials and the interests that employee unions would normally have in common. He was wrong, of course -- the two CSEA's are likewise linked by the Holey and Immutable Ties of Confusion, as Eris is wont to use to tangle organizations. In any event, I've made the textual change -- the contact information, I believe, is still accurate.

Aftermath 1, 3163

• In a fit of whimsy -- and to celebrate another revelation had during a reading of the Striptures -- I added a little footnote to the Principia Discordia Page.
• The Ickster and myself came up with what we called Ockham's Knapsack several years ago, and I wrote up something on it several months ago. Today, I'm finally getting the thing up and available by linking it in from the Discordian Metaphysics page.

Bureaucracy 71, 3163

• After much searching about the web, I found an image which was almost completely not entirely wrong for the Stoned Sermon #4 page, and snagged it with complete lack of ceremony from the home page of Rev. Elder Jeri Ann Harvey of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. I'm on the look-out for a better image, so if ya got one, claim-jump the intellectual property and send it on over to me.

Bureaucracy 60, 3163

• I would make the ``yeah, yeah, `Wow, look who showed up to do something.''' joke, but I made that one already a full Season ago. And let's face it -- I ain't done shit for awhile, so I deserve all the jeering I get. Nevertheless, I have made some minor modifications to both the main drag and the Oriental Trading Company page. Y'see, a very wise and civil (read ``complimentary'') gentleman by the name of Chad Mardesen contacted me. M'man Chad, you see, is the website coordinator for the OTC and has gotten some mail from irate Church groups (which comes as a surprise to everybody, I'm sure) and teachers (I weep for our children) demanding that he remove the ``foul language'' from the OTC page on HyperDiscordia. They, of course, didn't identify it as such -- despite the dead giveaways (things like a link to the OTC page, repeated references to the OTC as ``they'' and ``them'' and the fact that the URL says ``hyperdiscordia'' in it where the Oriental Trading Company pages are on www.oriental.com), they thought that poor Chad was administering my OTC page. So, Chad contacted me and asked that I make some changes, and I said that I would come up with something.
       Now, I was ready to make a few concessions when Pope Icky Fundament, PZK, he of the Big Wrinklies (he had a little hoe-down with a Toy Company Who Shall Not Be Named, for their Name was spoken unto him by their Lawyer, who insisted that the Name and the Profane Deal with the Name be kept Secret, lest they Sue the aforementioned big wrinklies right off our good Pope; suffice it to say that they took high umbrage with his use of a trademark of theirs -- take a look at his Apple Corps game and see how many guesses it takes you to (1) get the name of the slandered game and (2) find out who makes said game), grew Sore Abraded and said that I should leave my page just as it is. So I did, and forgot the whole incident for Many Moons.
       Just today, I was contacted by yet another person from the revered halls of the OTC (Betty Camenzind, Senior Marketing Manager), who was somewhat less complimentary and a wee bit more strident about the steps I should take. She was not at all rude and didn't once say anything about ``lawyer'' or ``sue your wrinklies off.'' However, she did defend the assertion that pronouns like ``they'' and ``their'' were not sufficient to indicate to their users that I ain't them. She also said that my claim to be ``Unofficial Spokesperson'' for the OTC was misleading, despite the fact that the phrase clearly indicates that I support and vindicate them in an unofficial capacity (when using a sufficiently old dictionary and getting down to some double-digit definitions; whatever the case, that's what I meant). So, in order to split the difference between being obliging and being mocking, I chose to be obliging in a mildly mocking manner. Whatever the case, I think I've made it very, very clear that I ain't them.

Discord 67, 3163

• Yeah, yeah, ``Wow, look who showed up to do something.'' Very original. As it happens, smart guy, I haven't done anything new; however, the kindly and obviously hip folks at Steve Jackson Games Daily Illuminator have chosen us as their first Illuminated Site of the Week. (The award has been given a Place of Dishonor between the other two awards on the home page, if ya wanna see it -- I made the mistake of loading the What's Really New page over a 28.8 once, and I then decided that one thing this page doesn't need is more graphics.)
• And, I really am working on some new stuff -- anyone with a VRML 2.0 browser can take a look over at the cathedral I'm working on, as well as its guide. (Ring his bell to wake him up.) I suggest that anyone without a really fast machine give this little work-in-progress a pass until such time as I can figure out how to optimize it a little.

Chaos 50, 3163

• Although we here consider The Backscratching Page dead for all intents and purposes -- when we checked and found that over half the links were broken we gave up trying to keep it up to date -- we can't resist requests. Specifically, one Pope Marv Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, JKSC, from The Discordian Rebel Alliance, wrote us and asked us if we'd add his page to our Backscratching Page. This we've done. And if this doesn't get us a humanitarian award, nothing will.

Chaos 15, 3163

• I forgot to note that as of yesterday the HyperDiscordia Not-Quite-So-Chaotic Search Page was given its very own icon on the HyperDiscordia Oh-So-Chaotic Index Page.

Chaos 7, 3163

• And another Happy New Year to y'all.
• It occurred to us during our ever-so-discordant New Year's celebrations that, while we have been good enough to blaspheme against just about every religion we could find, we have so far missed blaspheming against our very own. And we thought, if you can't blaspheme against your own beliefs, whose can you really blaspheme against? So, after having used the word ``blaspheme'' so many times it lost meaning for us, we cobbled together, in direct violation of all things chaotic, a HyperDiscordia Not-Quite-So-Chaotic Search Page. Now you can actually find every reference to such words as ``Eris'' and ``xyzzy'', and Discordia be damned!

Aftermath 72, 3162

• The editorial staff here recently received a missive -- a rebuttal, if you will -- regarding Pope Icky Fundament's carefully researched and peer-reviewed article titled ``A New Calendrical System''. Since the missive was itself carefully researched and peer-reviewed, we couldn't see chucking it on the dung heap -- although the thought did cross our minds, apparently en route to someplace with fewer cobwebs and more sun. Therefore we have added ``Toward A Nonarbitrary Calendar (Or Not)'' by Aquadale Bitty, Chaplain, Generic Discordian Sect, to our Wholly Ritz. Let this be a lesson to you, kids, that anything you send us might end up on the Web with your name attached to it for all eternity -- in this case, on the Perpetual Date Converter Page.

Aftermath 68, 3162

• It is with the utmost glee that I updated the local page dedicated to Oriental Trading Company so that there are now pointers to their web page and online catalog request form. Oh happy and wondrous day.
• While I was at the OTC site, I snarfed (in direct violation of the stated Law of the Land) a copy of their logo and dropped it onto HyperDiscordia's OTC page. Then, spurred on by the lack of law enforcement officials at my door, I went to the Illuminet Press page (which has moved a wee bit) and grabbed a scan of the Principia Discordia to put on our page.

Aftermath 55, 3162

• After looking at it for quite some time (and having Pope Icky remind me occasionally of its hoogliness), I finally got rid of the original image from the Illuminati page and replaced it with something slightly less awful. My thanks to Paul Joiner, who posted one of the only decent Eye of Horus images on the web (which, in the Grand Ol' Discordian Tradition, I shamelessly stole).

Aftermath 53, 3162

• The ever-handy Pope Icky Fundament, PZK has scribbled up (and I mean that quite literally) a little graphic to go on m'little Thudthwacker page.

Aftermath 45, 3162

• Just more re-gammificiations, this time on the Sermonella page, the Sacred Chao page and the Mudflap in Your Mythology page.

Aftermath 44, 3162

• Those of you who were waiting with baited breath to see the final version of the Mandala are now rewarded for your patience. (And speaking of patience, the bloody thing took 123 hours to render; thus, if you really don't like it, please do me the favor of suggesting fixes after you've given me an SGI Reality Monster with which to implement said fixes.)
• A slight change was made (let's hear it for the passive tense, like I didn't have to crank up vi and actually edit the file) to the First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis to note the publication of the fine and insightful philosophical study Elvis After Elvis: The Posthumous Career of a Living Legend by the erudite Gilbert B. Rodman. Not only do three illustrations from this worthy page appear in said book, but the cover illustration was rendered by none other than our own Pope Icky. Buy a copy and support the living artist. Buy two and support him in style.
• Missed in my previous demurkification binges was Starbuck's Temple -- an oversight now rectified. I noticed that it was in need of fixing when I put in the link to the Portable Discordian Temple page. Yep, you read right -- a portable Discordian temple; sacred space for the upwardly mobile; holey-ground-on-the-go; a wallet-sized sanctuary; a veritable pocket parish. The silly-nickname possibilities alone are endless.
• And for those of you who think we here at HyperDiscordia are as bad as most Web sites, Icky scribbled out a quick addition to the Apple series of illustrations, this one for the phrase ``baited breath''. We are above such things as tpyos.
• Icky, being link-happy today, then added this illustration for certain words in The Myth of King Midol, The Biography of Chaplin IM False, and the Transcendental Terrorists Page. So much energy for a Monday!

Aftermath 39, 3162

• Having found out how easy it is to demurkify various raytraced images that I have from time to time taken it upon myself to inflict upon my audience, I have re-gamma'd the images on the Punslinger page and the Library of Babel page.

Aftermath 34, 3162

• I finally got around to moving my self-pitying gripe off the Mandala page (and, while I was there, put up a little in-progess version of what will soon be yet another new Mandala image).

Aftermath 32, 3162

• There are people out there who, seemingly aggravated or amused (or both) by the proliferation of awards, kudos and Cool/Hot lists, have begun handing out their own awards, nominations and kudos. Here are the most recent two that have landed on my doorstep:
• During the recent housecleaning and sprucifying, I found a page which had not been linked in anywhere (actually, there were somewhere near a gazillion of them, some of which still linger in the Beforelife of HTMLdom). It was a (now very much outdated) bit of information on Joe Formoso, as I am known among the profane. So, I updated it, linked it to the front page, and posted it. Not very interesting, really, but what the Hell.
• I did some work trying to de-murkify some of the various images I put up. As it happens, all they required was a little fiddling with their gamma correction. The pages thus far de-muddied are The Mandala and Saint Andrew.

Aftermath 23, 3162

• Big changes have been afoot for Ye Olde HyperDiscordia Pages, O brethren and sistren and cabbageren. Yea, verily, didst we look upon these pages and feel ill, for, having fixed the first page, and nicely formatted any new pages as we added them, in the main HyperDiscordia didst languish in much the same state as when it was first created, lo these three years ago. And it was hoogly, boys and girls. What was once the very heighth of style and fashion -- horizontal rules, <H1> tags, cubicle-grey backgrounds -- has since fallen on the dung heap of popluar culture, among such items as Kurt Cobain and sensible shoes. Never ones to fall too far behind, we expended some effort over the last few weeks to revamp all the pages, using prayers to the mighty though fickle god of Perl to add a soothing background color to each and every page -- free of charge! -- and cleaning up various and sundry layout fauxes pas. Now we're somewhat more book-like, although no less difficult to read: The site layout is unchanged. All changes were cosmetic only. But what cosmetics! -- Cindy Crawford would be pleased.

Bureaucracy 68, 3162

• Since I've been spending time lately refurbishing and improving the Discordian Calendar page, I figured I might as well include a little note about the derivation of that calendar.

Bureaucracy 63, 3162

• Whilst Pope Icky is busily copyediting, the both of us are also trying to improve the layout of HyperDiscordia pages in general. This mostly comes down to centering titles, using those keen typesetting quotes, keeping header sizes up to avoid their actually being smaller than the surrounding text ... that kind of thing.
  However, posting each and every such change is daft, so I shan't. I just wanted to let you know that, if a couple of pages that are near 'n' dear to your heart look a little different, you shouldn't worry that you've missed something.
  
  
• I decided that it was high time to get an on-line Gregorian-to-Erisian date converter into HyperDiscordia, so this have I done. It's linked in at the bottom of the Discordian Calendar page.

Bureaucracy 62, 3162

• THEM have demanded that we alter our homepage so as to warn the public properly about the hazards involved in perusing the contents of HyperDiscordia, and we were only too happy to do so.

Bureaucracy 42, 3162

• Well, after remaining untouched for nearly two years as technology passed us by, we have finally reworked HyperDiscordia's Main Page. We got around to it partly because it was starting to look really archaic -- it was so 1994 -- and partly so we'd have someplace to put the new ads. Yes, you read that aright: Following the lead of just about every other site on the World Wide Web, the Order of the Blunted Sword has sold out and has begun accepting advertising on HyperDiscordia's front page. By way of apology, we can only offer the same explanation given by Dogbert for the ads on the Dilbert Zone: They give us money. We like money. If this offends some of you, tough tittie. We're not in the business of making your life a pleasant place to live. Although, if you paid us enough, we could be.

Bureaucracy 40, 3162

• For those of you who think that there's really no harm in forwarding that crusty old joke file around to your friends, think again.

Confusion 59, 3162

• Pope Icky has been copyediting like a madman. We won't bother to list all the changes here, but rest assured, our Kwality Kontrol Kommittee is working overtime to bring you the best Website in their power. You'd be hard-pressed to find a speeling mistake these days.

Confusion 57, 3162

• Yes, indeedy, HyperDiscordia has moved. Again. Unlike many other moves on the Web these days, though, ours was not prompted by the national attention we have received -- like the small blurb for the First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis in the August issue of PC World -- or our registration of a vanity URL. Nay, we are not ones to be moved by such unworthy motivations. However, we are ones to be moved by the Goode Episkopos Al's change of employment, resulting in his loss of access to the old site. The Noble Thudthwacker moved on to greener pastures, yea, pastures what are papered with the green stuff; and so HyperDiscordia required a new home. The people at WestNet were kind indeed to give us this space, and we thank them. (And so should you. Send them money.)
  
  We trust that this will result in a renaissance among these pages, as now your humble editor-of-the-moment, Icky, has much freer access and can play with them during his all-too-abundant free time. Already he has toyed with:
  • the Nosepicking Page, laying it out all over again and taking advantage of the new way Netscape handles tables
  • changing some colors on the Jusanotoron Page so maybe you can read it better
  • adding much-needed information in the form of the Last Resting Place of Emperor Norton Page wherein the Address of the Grave of His Holiness is made manifest
  • updating the HyperDiscordia Map
  • updating the First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis Page to note our appearance in and on a Real Live Book (not the PC World article, which hardly counts)
  • and modifying the Illogical Negativism Page to note Icky's wife's Holy Name and Doctoration [It always annoyed me that Al left that out. -- Icky]
  
  
  More changes are certainly imminent and even eminent. Keep your browsers peeled to this space. What does that mean? Even I have no idea.

Confusion 26, 3162

• I've been looking over some of the older corners of HyperDiscordia, and I must say there are a few pages that need some overhaulin'. One particular page, on the pineal gland, had what I would consider quite a substandard graphic (when Pope Icky told me he thought it ``had charm,'' I knew I had to do something about it -- take a look at the original page, and see if you don't agree). As it happens, I had recently learned a little about animated GIFs, and was itching to add one of the gratuitous, Netscape-specific (though, as I pointed out to Pope Icky, the ability to animate GIFs has been in the GIF89a specification since, well, 1989 -- therefore, strictly speaking, Netscape didn't really stomp on anyone's standards [and now y'all see the lengths to which I'll go to justify my actions]) little monsters to one of my pages ... but which one?
  
  Then, like a bolt from the black (if inspiration were as rare as a ``bolt from the clear blue sky,'' as it is often supposed to be, there would be even less of it than there is), it occurred to me that the venerable old Pineal Gland page would be a prime contender for an animated GIF.
  
  Thence, I spent a few days looking for just the right image of a brain (which is harder to find than one would suppose -- blessings in abundance on the folks at the University of Utah Spencer S. Eccles Health Sciences Library for their near-perfect image.). I spent yet more time with POVray, and finally with a truly wonderful utility called WhirlGIF to make the final product.
  
  Now, after all that spiel, there is the new, somewhat improved, Pineal Gland page.

Discord 62, 3162

• Well, inspiration hath struck again, and again I have poked my head up out of my ostrich hole to see the light of day (in China; I'm one of them loooong-necked ostriches). Anyway, owing to a wonderful turn of phrase dropped by Joe D'Andrea (drummer, raving Buckminsterfullerian, programmer and all-around odd person), I now have a page entitled Mudflap in Your Mythology.

Discord 39, 3162

• Wow, talk about going into hiding. Well, I've been working rather hard on a couple of things in the HyperDiscordia Research and Development Labs (mu-hu-ha-ha-ha), so I've been kinda busy of late. However, when pure inspiration strikes, it must needs be attended to.
  
  I therefore give unto you a new sermonella by the Not-Quite-Right Reverend Doctor N. A. Terata, ``Stolen Holiday.'' I also put a little image and link on Rev. Dr. N. A. T.'s ``Sermon from my Mouth'' so that it, too, is marked as being a sermonella.
  
  Well, back into Ye Hole with me fer awhile -- hopefully, my latest obsession will hit the pages of HyperDiscordia before the month is out (but then, I was hoping that last month, too).

Chaos 70, 3162

• I made a very insignificant change to the Discordians page, so that you can now get to a much speedier version of the Jargon File. I make mention mainly because Pope Icky always yells at me if I change something in HyperDiscordia without mentioning it in this doc (which is good, honestly; I mean, asking you, Gentle Reader, to occasionally wander through the entire bloody thing [and to gratuitously split infinitives along the way] just in case I've changed a link is just plain mean-spirited, and I shouldn't be allowed to get away with it).

Chaos 64, 3162

• Pope Icky Fundament, PZK has once again visited upon us his Holey CGI Might, and has given unto you a handy dandy Pope Card Generator.

Chaos 59, 3162

• Believe it or not, the Universe of Discourse just dematerialized again, to where I cannot tell. Should I ever find it again, I'll let y'all know. Feh.

Chaos 57, 3162

• After much typing, cogitating and raytracing (three days on our SGI Challenge -- yowza), there is now a page pertaining to the various mysteries of the Akashic Records.

Chaos 45, 3162

• I've made changes to several pages in HyperDiscordia to reflect the fact that The Universe of Discourse is on line again. It's still a little ragged from the move from its former home, so a lot of the links haven't been tied down to its current server (and, therefore, most of the links off the homepage dangle). However, I'm sure it'll be back up to snuff, and there's a lot of really, um, interesting stuff there. No, there aren't many (if any) fancy backgrounds or clickable maps or, Goddess save us all, Java applets. However, there's some real, live originality, and I'll take that any day.

Chaos 36, 3162

• My latest labor is an homage to those oft-misunderstood (and often vilified [and sometimes tarred-and-feathered]) Champions of Eris, the Punslingers.

Chaos 24, 3162

• I just made a small change to my local Emperor Norton page to include a link to yet another page on the Good Emperor, which I found over on the Impropaganda web site.

Chaos 22, 3162

• Well, my worst fears have been, if not confirmed, at least deepened to a nice, steady, throbbing paranoia. Just t'day, I received word that HyperDiscordia has earned the Grand and Much Coveted ``Reviewed by Magellan'' award (I'm not sure as to precisely why being reviewed is an honor, but hey, who am I to argue with the Collected Popes at Magellan?), the likeness of which you see hereabouts. Coming right on the heels of that ``Top 5% of the Web'' thing I got recently, this does not bode well for Yours Unruly. HyperDiscordia is being pigeonholed, stamped, labelled and packaged for mass consumption, and I'm sure THEM is behind it. However, I have No-Faith that Eris will guard her wayweird son from this horror, and lacking in faith I have resorted to pleas and sacrifices, just as the philosophers of old have done in similar situations. I've just unbent 5 paper clips and placed the jumbled remains, without so much as a word of explanation, on a coworker's monitor, converting their order into confusion (you should have seen his face) that the Lady might be amused. I beseech you all to do likewise, which may not help me any but will fer sher visit Holey Weirdness on the Minions of Greyface. If you want to make an even larger sacrifice in my dishonor, check out the Guerrilla Surrealism primer and examples and sacrifice a whole rational mind to Eris.

Chaos 3, 3162

• Happy New Year, y'all.
• 
  Is this a good thing or a bad thing? To steal one from Terry Pratchett, sodomy non sapiens -- ``Buggered if I know.'' I think it's kinda neat, personally (which scares me more than a little). Maybe the 'net is truly hip, and I should be honored (yeah, hip, what with all those funky AOLers, CompuServitors and Prodigiousities running about). Maybe this is an indication that I've stagnated beyond hope and should just stop before I hurt myself. Maybe it's a fluke -- the opinion of the Thuddite world happening to coincide with the Erisian Truth (I'd check, but I'm still having trouble getting into the box.) Maybe, even, I shouldn't worry about it. Yeah, I think I'll go with that one. And, on with the show!

Aftermath 48, 3161

• The Ickmeister has been hard at work yet again (no, not the Backscratching Page -- I was worried it was that, too). He has uncovered yet another Greyfacian plot to indoctrinate the human race with the Dogma of Order -- the Gregorian Calendar system. Ever notice how we naturally think of things in ``decades'' and ``centuries'' and suchlike, delimiting our history and very thought processes by numbers that end in ``0''? Me neither. But Icky did, and boy, is he not going to stand for it! The Discordian Calendar of Olde is good for throwing off the Dogma -- when the year 2000 is nothing but a plain ol' 3166 in the Discordian Reckoning, you just can't be all that impressed with it. Icky, however, went the next step, fearing that Discordians might fall into the trap by making Discordian years ending in ``0'' important and thereby constructing a new (albeit more colorful) straightjacket. He did away with those pesky numbers altogether in his new Calendrical System.

Aftermath 47, 3161

• I have just posted my latest labor of love, a page in honor of Andrew, Saint and Martyr, may his memory burn forever like a chronic hemorrhoid.

Aftermath 43, 3161

• There are, believe it or not, more links up on our Backscratching Page. Pope Icky, having typed so much that he wore his fingers down past his elbows and clean up to his parietal lobe, has shown us that the wages of sin (hubris, in this case) are, indeed, death. Or at least the inability to remember calculus. Whatever the case, I probably won't be mentioning the almost certainly ongoing updates to the BS page (as Icky and I are wont to refer to it) here. I mean, when all that's new is that you've added another coupla things to your hotlist, it's best not to call attention to the fact.

Aftermath 40, 3161

• More links on the Backscratching Page again. I'm going to have to make a proper thank-you to the Ickmeister for reminding me that I should make mention of every change that occurs in HyperDiscordia on this yere page. Maybe something like having his gallbladder grow back, so he can leave both Sisyphus and Prometheus in the dust.

Aftermath 39, 3161

• Well, Icky has been at it again, so there are yet more entries on the already ponderous Backscratching Page. Pope Icky has likened his task to that of Sisyphus, until I noted that at least Sisyphus' rock isn't growing at the rate of 30% per month. We have summarily decided that Sisyphus was a wimp.

Aftermath 27, 3161

• You should all run (don't walk) to your Preference menu and set up your http proxy to point at www.2d.org:9002 immediately (those of you who can't use a proxy or already have a proxy that you need to use to get web access -- sorry). For those interested in what the web will look like if Greyface takes over, set your proxy to be www.2d.org:9003. It's little things like this that make me feel like I should just stop trying to do stuff -- I'm a hack. The guys that came up with Stupid HTTP Proxy Tricks... now they're awesome.
• After noting some pretty awesome signs and portents, I made a few pineal gland inquiries, and rendered forth this entirely-too-long set of Numerrillogical Musings.

Aftermath 22, 3161

• Yet more additions have crept onto the Backscratching Page, and I've visited yet more sites, and most of them were still pointing at HyperDiscordia's old home. It seems that HyperDiscordia takes the prize for look-at-it-once-drop-it-in-your-hotlist-never-visit-it-again site of the year. Feh.

Aftermath 19, 3161

• Well, Pope Icky has been hard at work (yet, more, still, unflaggingly) trying to make the Backscratching Page as complete as possible. He has unearthed yet more folks who were kind enough to link to us (though who seem to have grown bored quickly, because almost none of them noticed when HyperDiscordia closed up shop and moved to a new town). Once again, I embarked on the Episkopos Al World Tour to inform our wayward brethren of our new stomping grounds. I sent mail to almost everyone -- one link, to a dude I know only as ``Petee'' is slower than the proverbial offal flowing uphill, and, once I got there, the bugger redirected me to yet another site that my nameserver couldn't even find. And, of course, FrogNet remains the Great and Unreachable.

Aftermath 14, 3161

• In the interests of gathering data for no good reason (and to get my hands a little dirty with CGI scripting, forms and Perl), I have put up a short questionnaire, which you may fill out or not at your discretion and leisure. We might, someday, make use of the information in some way, but I wouldn't bet the bank on it.

Aftermath 12, 3161

• The ever-productive Pope Icky has shamelessly stolen a little thingy to help relieve anxiety (and, since it's plagiarism, I guess that makes Pope Icky ever-reproductive).

Aftermath 11, 3161

• Well, after about 3 months of work, I've finished some changes to the Mandala page, which now sports a fancy-pants new piece of raytraced silliness, the aforementioned silliness having both the vice of mediocrity and the virtue of being done.

Bureaucracy 52, 3161

• The astute of you (those who visit here several times a day and visit every link [which they set never to expire] so they'll always be immediately aware of new ones, for example) might have noticed that there's a new link in the Bureaucracy 49 entry below. You should take a look; Pope Icky has made a groundbreaking step toward Popetic Solidarity by throwing his support and arteestick abilities behind that other Pope.

Bureaucracy 49, 3161

• Pope Icky of the Single-Minded Purpose has made it his business to go and query every bot, worm, crawler and stupidly-long hotlist that he could find to see just how many people have made some reference to HyperDiscordia in their web pages. His results have born quite a bit of fruit, as you may see for yourself. O'course, I felt the need to visit these kindly pages, and found that something over 4/5 of them had links to the old HyperDiscordia. Thence began my mammoth mail campaign, and Lo! hath my fixlinks folder become swollen with messages. By comparison, that other pope is touring the world over the course of several months. I've been in England, the Netherlands, Germany and most of the major cities in the US over the last five or so days. (I quote Pope Icky, whence I lamented my Task to him: ``That sound you hear is the smallest violin in the world, playing for all the Episkopossum.'') To be honest, though, I must give JPII some measure of respect for planning to visit Newark, surely the ultima Thule of Christendom. Those of you who have received my mail and made the change requested -- thanks. And, on with the show.

Bureaucracy 37, 3161

• I have recently been pointed at an on-line copy of Kerry Thornley's book Zenarchy over at the impropaganda web site. The site seems most worth browsing through; go 'head, I'll still be here when you get back.

Bureaucracy 35, 3161

• I just found a(nother) home page for the Universal Life Church, which has a link off to an On-Line Ordination Page, which will even provide you with an ordination certificate that you can print out (an on-the-fly PostScript-writin' Pope Card page is now in the works, of course, but dunna hold yer breath).

Bureaucracy 31, 3161

• I've made a small alteration to my page on Alternate Discordian Beliefs, which was necessitated by yet another art project.

Bureaucracy 11, 3161

• Pope Icky has taken out ye olde toolbox and done a heavy reworking of his critically acclaimed Nosepicking Page. It has been heavily Netscapificated, so at the moment it sticks out like a sore thumb, though I've been doing a wee bit of Netscapification m'self (I have thus far not caved in to the multicolor background thing, but I fear that I might weaken. If I do, you have my permission to hunt me down and beat me to death with a rubber chicken).

Confusion 69, 3161

• I just put up my newest attempt at art, which is a variation on that ol' standby, Starbuck's Pebbles. It's not the greatest thing in the world (or even a close second, for that matter), but I was getting depressed at just how much wasn't happening on HyperDiscordia of late. Better to fart a little tune than to bitch about the quiet, I always say.

Confusion 31, 3161

• Now that I have my Indy to play with, I've finally added a new raytraced Sacred Chao to keep the canonical one company. I have it in both normal (172K) and really-much-bigger-than-it-needs-to-be (325K) versions.

Discord 49, 3161

• Well, if you're reading this, then you probably know that this is a new home for HyperDiscordia. What you may not know is that all the docs on the old server now point here (that way, people who have links to stuff in HyperDiscordia won't get the annoying ``URL Not Found 404'' error, but rather something of actual use. I know this sounds like rational behaviour, and for that I apologize. For what it's worth, the old server will probably be going off-line without warning some time in the next month, so there is a wee bit of madness lying in wait behind the method).

Discord 43, 3161

• I made a couple of additions to the Hammers of Bonking page, so there is now color and sound.

Discord 41, 3161

• During my meanderings across the Web, I found a home page for the ULC (the authors of which thought it was the only one, silly boys that they are [predictably, one of the aforementioned authors is a Keeper of the Sacred Chao {though they are both, of course, popes}]) which nicely complements (and, once they get their link to us added, compliments) ours.
• This weekend, the wife of Pope Icky Fundament managed to single-handedly found two philosophies and, at the same time, head-off a potential disaster for Aristotelian metaphysics. For this she should be noted, if not commended.

Discord 28, 3161

• Just to show off some new toys, I have a page with a brief treatment on insanity.

Discord 10, 3161

• There is yet another link from our Elvis home page, this one to the Elvis Shrine at MIT.
• An article on how to win arguments has been added to the page on Erisian Evangelism.

Discord 9, 3161

• A link from our very own King page to the Elvis Home Page has been added.

Discord 6, 3161

• And, living up to his monicker, Pope Icky offers this succulent nugget.
• Since I can't leave offensive enough alone, either, I have added my own touch to the latter of the below mentioned Ickyworks.

Discord 2, 3161

• Not one to leave offensive enough alone, the ever-pungent Pope Icky has executed not one, but two more works of art (for which he may yet be executed, if the Holy Rolling Pin Housewife Brigade ever catches up with him), which has been incorporated into our Elvis page.

Chaos 73, 3161

• Pope Ghephe of the Infinite Spellings, All High Grand Revered Whoozits of the Church of OTIS, has just this morning written to me to tell me that Lo! they've got a Web site and a gopher site for your browsing pleasure. Get on over there and look around; there is Neat Stuff^TM about.

Chaos 62, 3161

• Lo, the Goode Pope Icky has grown exceeding bored of picking off sacred cows one at a time, and has decided that two at once is much more sporting. With any luck, this will offend anyone who loves the King, whichever one they happen to worship.

Chaos 54, 3161

• The Goode Pope Icky forwarded me some mail he received and Lo!, the Illuminet Press, who I've been Cyberpimping for for the longest time, now has their very own web page.

Chaos 31, 3161

• The Good Pope Icky Fundament has favored us with a new artistic endeavor, which is an improved rendition of an old artistic endeavor.

Chaos 23, 3161

• Fifth and foremost, a most Happy New Year to all!
• This weekend, I had some further insight into my theory of Partickle Metaphysics. It seems very obvious in retrospect, but then again, so does peanut butter.

Aftermath 50, 3160

• Happy Afflux, y'all! Lo, the Sacred last 23 days of Aftermath are upon us, bringing us to a new year of renewed Chaos!
• I've added a little thing on the Lyrians, a sect of Gnostics who seem to have been lost (or lost themselves) in antiquity. Of course, Eris forgets none of Her children, as is evidenced by the hidden reference to the Lyrians in Lord Omar's Honest Book of Truth.

Aftermath 8, 3160

• Nothing of overwhelming interest, but I added a couple of links off to the entry for Jester in the on-line version of Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary and links off to a memetics page (which should not be confused with the Grinning Idiot Press meme article, rendered forth here way back in Confusion). When cruising HyperDiscordia, the ``meme'' pointers go off to one or the other with very little rhyme or reason (as it should be).
• Let the news ring forth to the Queendom of Discord that, on this coming Pungenday, Aftermath 11, I, Episkopos Aloysius Thudthwacker, am to wed. If you would, please do us the honor of going out and doing something silly on that day.

Aftermath 1, 3160

• Well, here it is, a whole nuther Season, and high time that I got off my butt. HyperDiscordia has been languishing (``not like a debutante in a hot tub in a cheap motel, but like an astronaut in orbit with no oxygen,'' as Pope Icky pointed out in one of his missives to me). I therefore sheepishly put forth a short schtick on Logic, which visited itself upon me today.

Bureaucracy 33, 3160

• Pope Icky, though far away, still sends his dementia our way now and again. His most recent contributions include a snappy poem, a great Guerrilla Surrealism Case Study and illustrations for the phrases face and cow.
• I just purchased my copy of Zenarchy and have received due enlightenment about several things, such as The Hidden Temple of the Happy Jesus.

Bureaucracy 15, 3160

• I decided to let the cat out of the bag about free will; I hope this doesn't inconvenience anyone who might be using it for a scam.

Bureaucracy 10, 3160

• The dearly de-parted Pope Icky (who finally has his schtick together [ew]), who is getting paid large shekels to cruise the Web, has discovered Liber Nonsequitoria, which is utterly, divinely weird.
• I was recently informed (by the ever-famous MJD) that Mad Hatter Day is fast approaching, and will arrive on October 6th (Bureaucracy 64 for those of you following the One True Calendar, buy the whey [homonyminal advertising; call it a hobby]).

Bureaucracy 3, 3160

• Mark-Jason Dominus over at the Universe of Discourse has made some real progress in his hypertextification of the Principia. I, personally, haven't followed it all the way to the end, but there seems to be a lot there. Have a party.

Bureaucracy 2, 3160

• A rather interesting view of Jesus Christ has been called to my attention.
• Pope Icky, though gone, continues to be a presence here (and, it is rumored, where he actually is, though I can find very little corroboration; all I get is e-mail, and ANYONE can fake THAT). Yet another doodle has been entered, this one for coyote.

Confusion 63, 3160

• In a package of stuff recently sent to me by the ever-popular Chaplin IM False was an article on the Discordian elements taken from a Neopagan perspective.
• Let us all wish Pope Icky Fundament a fond farewell -- he has left our little island of insanity for the greener pastures of Prodigy, where he will help them get up speed so they can make a precarious leap and cling by their fingernails to the back of the Internet bandwagon; in less flowery prose, he's helping them set up an FTP site and a WWW site so that they can emerge, kicking and screaming, in the 80's (what they'll do when they find out that the party has left without them is up for speculation).

Confusion 53, 3160

• Boredom has struck Pope Icky again -- we can hope for the last time -- and he has added doodles corresponding to bombs, arrows, space rubbish, sailing, frog, and in-jokes.

Confusion 43, 3160

• HobokenX is 100% recovered from its bout of nonexistence, thanks largely to the efforts of Pope John Paul George Ringo I, resident Unix dude.

Confusion 42, 3160

• I modified Jerseywocky ever so slighty to allow me to add a link to HobokenX, a hypertextified guide to the wonders of that most ancient and wondrous of cities, Hoboken (as an aside, the ``Hoboken?! Oooh, I'm dyyyyin'!'' line is extraordinarily unoriginal [I mean, beating a dead horse is one thing, but this is more like abusing a bottle of glue] and, more importantly, incorrect. What Bugs actually said at that point in the cartoon was ``Hoboken?! Oooh, I'm dyyyin' again!''). It's not all the way available right now due to ``disk problems'' caused by a rogue rm command. The command has been caught and the abetting fingers chastized, so we don't expect a repeat occurrence.

Confusion 41, 3160

• Pope Icky has translated, for everyone's benefit, the Myth of King Midol.

Confusion 40, 3160

• Pope Icky finally finished Book Two of the Lives of the Saints.
• For reasons beyond all understanding [I got bored. --Icky] there have been linked in, in various places in HyperDiscordia, images dealing with imprison, food, surgery, light, dog, 5 o'clock, smoothed, horns, pokers, brain washing, nipples, teeth, monks, toilet, cutbacks, door, and dinner.

Confusion 33, 3160

• The fever is a-catchin', children of Chaos. There was a sighting of the proper use of the Sacred Hammer of Bonking in the rather unlikely location of Oporto, Portugal.

Confusion 32, 3160

• The Pentabarf Page was updated to include a link to a section from Lord Omar's introduction to the Principia (recently acquired) in order to include a piece resulting from Pope Icky Fundament's playing with a pen, a flatbed scanner and some drawing software [Some people should not be allowed to play with computers. --Icky].

Confusion 28, 3160

• I added yet another dialogue.

Confusion 25, 3160

• On Suicide, a brief note, was added in the depths of some obscure link.
• A further philosophical conundrum was added, for no good reason [actually, it was because Thudthwacker let me. -- Icky].

Confusion 21, 3160

• I found another dialogue lying around in my head, and decided that I'd put up a new-and-disapproved Dialogue page.

Confusion 18, 3160

• I've applied the ever-famous Law of Fives to create a kind of Socratic dialogue (actually, I'm sure Socrates would find it excessively unkind, but hey, that's show business) on The Five Ages of Man.

Confusion 7, 3160

• There is now Lobias Fogcutter's Semiautobiographical Exposition on Memes available to all (also included is the address of his electronic publishing house, the Grinning Idiot Press. He distributes all his bookware on plain old 5 1/4" low-density floppies as text files with integral browsing software. It's decidedly lo-tek, but hey, so is sex. Write him; he's cool.

Confusion 1, 3160

• I updated my Treatise on Rants to include a brand-spanking new Rant from the recently reconverted (reconstituted?) Pope Hilarity J. Blinkstein.

Discord 64, 3160

• I finally included a thingy on Creative Order from the Principia and, to balance it out, I hacked up a bit on Creative Disorder.

Discord 58, 3160

• Though it isn't very good (hey, you see what you can do with a LogiTech® ScanMan^TM and a grainy color photograph [©®ud]), there is now a picture to accompany Ol' Sam's Biography.

Discord 45, 3160

• The Ever-Venerable Pope John Paul George Ringo I found a Truly Magnificent Rant on Lust, so I figured a small Treatise on Rants was out of order.

Discord 42, 3160

• After months of having the phrase rattling around in my head, I've finally found a thing to call the Law of the Extruded Muddle.

Discord 31, 3160

• I've incorporated a couple of pictures from the Principia, obtained as GIFs from the FTP site at Lysator (may the Admin's camels be quintupally blessed) into the HyperDiscordia Home Page (which you've probably seen already, but you'd be surprised what some people will point remote links at) and the Law of Fives document. (Not very interesting, I guess, but the What's Really New page was looking a little sparse. Didn't want y'all to think I was asleep at the switch or nuthin'.)

Discord 25, 3160

• Well, this, for openers.
• I recently put up a page listing other Discordian WWW sites (also, y'all with form support can add stuff to my visitor-supplied web sites page [those without form support can only read it, I fear]).
• A colorized version of the Mandala from the Principia Discordia.
• I have the picture of the Hodge Podge Transformer from the Principia linked into the Hodge Podge document.